The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Randomize
