Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
