All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Randomize
