How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
