Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Found your dick twin last night
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
