Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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