I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
