do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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