Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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