its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
