I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
