After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
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