Non-Jews are for practice
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
