dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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