what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
