I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
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