Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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