There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
