I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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