OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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