Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Dicks are not precious.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
