I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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