Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
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