we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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