we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize