I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
