I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
