take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
