I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
