another moral hangover. fuck.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
