I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
