Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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