If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
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