dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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