Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
