He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
