there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
You are a genius and a whore.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
