so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
