Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize
