The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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