Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Randomize
