i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
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