i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
