My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
where does the pee come out of this thing
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
