Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
