The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
