What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
