some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
