That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
