New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Let's paint friendship bongs
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
