i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
