btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
