i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
